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Houston Association of Petroleum Landmen; 2007

This fella, above, is pretty famous, I guess. I see him all the time on CNBC. In 2008 he spoke to the Houston Association of Petroleum Landmen at the Houston Petroleum Club. It was a luncheon engagement.

A year before Pickering went on, this dickhead on the left spoke to the same organization. He was NOT famous in 2007, and is not now. But HE spoke to the HAPL, in the evening, over dinner, at some big ball room in downtown Houston and there were 400 people there. We rocked the place. David Thompson and Dan Eby with Cudd Well Control were there.

I liked dinner speeches because the more wine people had during dinner, the funnier my stories were. Then later, after the talk, the speaker can drink and the stories get REALLY good.

Ms. Catherine had a grand time, right.

Not kidding: I spoke in Colorado once, also a dinner thing; it was great! I used a wireless mic and when everything was over I forgot to turn the damn thing off. I went to the dunny and was peeing like a race horse while people were coming up behind me to say good job, thanks for coming and all that. Apparently you could hear the whole thing in the overhead speakers of the ball room. Some nice folks bought be a few drinks and we had a good laugh about that later.

I spoke in Oklahoma City, at Chesapeake's complex. Bigger than the town I grew up in. They had a neat little amphitheater there that would seat 180. Aubrey McClendon was set to go on before me. I introduced myself to him out in the lobby and we mumbled something, turned away and walked off without shaking my hand.

He had everybody pretty much bored to death in 10 minutes. When he was coming off and I was going on I said to him "short and turn!" and he didn't think that was too funny. I thanked the OKC Desk and Derrick Club for having me, then thanked Chesapeake for the nice venue and for me getting to go on four Chesapeake blowouts in one year! Not kidding about that.

Everybody laughed. Aubrey was long gone by then, darn it!

I enjoyed those speeches. I always felt like it was my way of giving back to people I admired. Occasionally when people stood and applauded I knew it wasn't for me, it was for Myron, and Red, and all the boys in Kuwait who did big work. Toward the end of my speaking career I'd get all my expenses paid and a couple thousand bucks to come speak; whatever organization it was I was speaking to I would always donate that money back to their scholarship fund.


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